WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE WOMAN 1?

                                                                                                                                                       

From the manuscript the mysteries of the woman! by Segun Meleki All Rights Reserved ©
.

A woman is a mystery and “Only where revelation is known has woman her due place of honor assigned to her”.—Easton's Illustrated Dictionary.

Like most young men, I discovered womanhood or so I thought at a young age, it was a discovery that only reinforced men’s tendency to view and use the woman as a mere tool of amusement and nothing more. I lived in suburban area of my city that was just developing where everybody kept indoors so I really knew nothing significant about the woman until I went to spend holiday with some relative in a densely populated low income area of my city.

It was a shocking difference. It was a heavily populated neighborhood that never seemed to sleep. You saw young gals and guy just hanging out strolling. It seemed the only thing young guys did was chase the girls.


One day, one of my older relatives dared me to run after a girl who was strolling by and toast her meaning try to catch her as my gal. So I went after her to show that I was a man and equal to the task. I never realized then, I was being initiated to the world of men’s relationship with the woman where men chase women for sport. It was an unconscious thing but one thing was clear to show you are a man you have to win a girl.

So I went after her as I strolled briskly to catch up with her, calling her for quite a while with no response, I drew closer and she turned suddenly to face me. For the first time I realized I was confronted with a prey for which I had not developed hunting skills; I experienced heart failure coupled with mind blackout, I was intimidated, I didn’t know what to say I started sweating, I never been in this situation before; never toasted a girl before, what was a guy supposed to say?

“I, em … I am … my brother asked me to call you” was all I could manage to say. Trying to back out of the challenge as honorably as I could quickly imagine.

She looked intently at me and said “tell him I can’t come”

I can’t remember other details but I was glad to end the chase and move away from that embarrassing quest. When I got back to the house everybody was waiting for the report all smiling. “What happened?’


“I ..ah talked with her “
What did you tell her?

I can’t remember what I said but I remembered telling them she was impressed with whatever I said and that she promised to come visit me.

The more mature amongst them said, “She just posted you” meaning she won’t come.
I said I was sure she was going to come.

That was my introduction to womanhood. All of a sudden, I have a big task to prove am a man, and that by capturing a girlfriend. I have to develop hunting skills and the prey has been identified, the woman.

I had discovered the woman and she was a prey. Just like most men, women hunting is a favorite past time of majority of men. For most men as they mature though, their relationship with the woman may become moderated, it still isn’t one where the woman is treated with the honor, sensitivity, love they deserve. In worst cases men abuse the woman often using and neglecting her.

If I was misled by other men in my discovery of the use or purpose of the woman, the women I related with only added to my error. If I believed women were toys, the ladies only conformed what I thought. As I encountered the women, I was amazed at how simple they could be when it comes to relating with men.

As a non Christian I really couldn’t articulate any tangible influence or transformation the various relationships I had with girls had on me as a person. As far as I was concerned my relationship with women was pretty much one of convenience and fun.


That’s the message most ladies sent. I was often amazed at the trivial things most of theses girlfriends were rather concerned with, fashion, parties, shows, fun etc. Yes I was a fun loving yet quiet guy, yet I was interested in more valuable things.

I valued intellectual stimulation, poetry, prose, books, knowledge etc. Unfortunately most of these girls just seemed not to be interested in anything serious in life except being serious about being in relationship with a guy.

Then one things was apparent in my relationships with most females; girls are just things you relate with for fun period. That is the impression most of them gave and that is the way the media and society portrayed them. The idea of having a serious commitment to a lady was simply unthinkable.

I basically had little or know personal value for relationship with women. That side of my life was pretty much settled, ladies like most guys believe are for sport.


On the other hand, I was shocked that what I thought was sport was a pervasive desire and reality for them. I had thought that everybody understood that the male-female thing was sports and fun nothing else. But I discovered it was not as simple as that for the female, it was something she held to her heart. I thought making a big deal out of what I thought was a joke was stupid on the part of the women.

I never liked deceiving a woman really beyond the idea of simply saying things that will help me in win her; saying the right words telling her how beautiful I thought she was.

I always avoided telling the girls I loved them because I didn’t. I thought that it clear that we were just having fun. Unfortunately, I discovered most just wanted you to tell them what they wanted to hear. That you loved them!


 My family
My dad was one of the best dads in the world although he made a lot of mistakes, I knew he was a great dad, unfortunately he was far from being he kind of husband that he really could be.

His marriage to my mum was bitter. Although he was a good dad, I never saw him attach any real value to his relationship with my mother. My mother was just of those things in his life.

Later he married another wife and was living in bigamy which really split the family. This also influenced my thoughts and attitude to women. I learnt it’s normal not to take your commitment to woman as a serious thing. Besides most men don’t.

I wondered why people got married in the first instance if all they do was quarrel, split up and despise each other, As a result of the bitterness in my fathers relationship with my mum, relationship with a woman was just I nothing serious for me. I always pitied people who were getting married because of the misery I was sure they were going to face.

I remember asking my mother why she had to put up with so much sadness during the marriage crisis with my dad, I told her to leave my dad she wouldn’t because of us like she said. I don’t understand why someone should have so much power to make another sad.


In my mind I resolved the woman question, I will have a “convenient relationship” with women and marriage was not compulsory. I discovered its much simpler and convenient going out with a girl than living with one. That was until I got born again and a new set of rules, reality and experiences revived the woman question.

After I gave my life to Christ the first thing I did was tell my girlfriends I was born again and broke up with them I never really loved or cared for them anyway breaking with them was routine, like dumping a toy for something serious. Curiously enough after some level of growth in my Christian journey; I began developing remorse for way I toyed with this girls.

I such compassion for girls and felt ashamed each time I saw the girls I had toyed with, sometimes I felt like running away whenever I saw them. It wasn’t as if I was cruel or abusive, I just didn’t care or took them seriously when I went out with them thought they gave me all.

REDISCOVERING THE WOMAN
As a young Christian, I started asking ladies why they allowed boys mess around with them, when all the time they could easily have sensed the deception and insincerity. I saw the way my friends talked about the girls in their lives, they never meant much to the guys, unfortunately the girls thought the whole world of them.

I just couldn’t understand why a girl or woman including my mum will continue to love a man who pays little attention to them. It beats my imagination and drives me crazy. It was something I wanted to resolve. I never knew what I sought to know was the outcome of a deep mystery that God will one day begin to unfold to me.